Domestic bliss and flying?

Marriage should be a concorde ... but not the sort of things that fly across the kitchen.

On your marks!

We don't have to WIN the human race ... just SAVE it.

Jesus: a great player.

I've heard the Three Wise Men were there to sign up a promising lad, as star replacement for his poor old dad ... who hadn't scored in yonks.

Should the government prop up the AFL?

Paul Murray asks whether the government should prop up the AFL with millions of dollars, or allow it to stand on its own two feet. Holy Cow! So many talking heads and not enough action. In other words, there's too much Bull. Let 'em stand on their own four feet!

"Scientific" slaughter of whales.

Perhaps the Australian Navy should adopt a "scientific" approach to the Japanese whalers by firing a series of salvos across their bows and measuring, on the Richter scale, the extent to which their zeal thus quakes.

Maria Sharapova is one big Grunt!

Young tennis star Maria Sharapova must learn to curb her dreadful grunting before her vocal chords are seriously harmed. If the filly carries on like this, she'll end up as a hoarse whisperer!

Ex Prime Minister John Howard and golf.

I wish someone would stop John Howard playing golf - he's made enough faux pars as it is!

Funny game, cricket.

Funny game, cricket: a bowler, if he has a "chucking" action, can usually expect to be no-balled by the umpire. If, however, a bowler has a "fling", he can almost certainly expect to be caught out ... by his wife!

People in glass houses ...

People in glass houses shouldn't throw cricket balls ... certainly not when Gilchrist is batting!

Bush and global warming

George Bush's efforts to curb global warming look like mere chicken feed. And sadly, at this rate, the chickens are coming home to roast!

Australia' s New Opposition Leader Dr Brendan Nelson

Brendan Nelson is the one doctor who would probably never tell us we're not getting enough Greens.